


i have seen the fields aflame

by inmoonlightigetseasick



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Make-up, about lou and debbie's past, about the claude becker situation and fallout, break-up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 21:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16003667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmoonlightigetseasick/pseuds/inmoonlightigetseasick
Summary: Lou had taken it hard when Deb broke her heart the first time and she wasn’t going to let it happen again. No matter what. So she was busy guarding her feelings. She was here and she wasn’t. There was a constant distracted feeling in her head, and her hands itched from being in one place too long.“Hey,” Deb said softly, smiling in a way that made Lou’s heart pound against its barricades.--Lou and Deb work through the aftermath of their "rough patch."





	i have seen the fields aflame

The sun was setting over the rec centre. The faint sounds of bingo filtered through the cracked open windows into the parking lot outside. There, Lou impatiently toed at the bits of gravel coming undone, her bangs falling into her eyes, she waited. 

Soon, the crunch of the tires of Deb’s car rolled up next to Lou’s motorcycle. As she got out of the car, Deb glared against the sun to look at Lou. She stood there for a moment, squinting her eyes and holding her hands up to her dark bangs. 

“It was nice of you to finally call,” Lou spoke to break the silence. 

“I was occupied.”

“Yes, he’s pretty high maintenance, isn’t he?”

“I’m not here to talk about that.” 

“Does that mean it’s over?”

“No.”

Lou stayed as still as possible, schooling her features so they couldn’t betray what she was feeling. Her stomach was churning. She cleared her throat.

“Then what are you here to talk about?”

Deb hesitated for a long time. Refusing to look at Lou, her hands seemed to fidget uncontrollably. She studied the pavement as if she were casing a place to be robbed. 

“I’m here to say goodbye,” she said finally. 

Lou could feel herself shut down. She suddenly felt very small, and she wasn’t used to that feeling. Words were caught in her throat but her jaw was clenched too tightly to even imagine getting a sentence out. So she just stared at Deb, eyes beginning to prickle with tears.

She told herself that she should have really expected this. They had been going through a rough patch, maybe rougher than most, but she had just thought maybe— Well, it was her own fault for getting her hopes up. Things were different now. There were outside factors at play. The fact of the matter was that it wasn’t just the two of them anymore, and it could never always be. Now there was Claude Becker. How could she possibly compete?

“Are you going to say anything?”

Deb’s voice cracked, tears were already running down her face. It snapped her out of her thought spiral, although Lou still refused to cry. She took a deep breath. 

“Is there anything I can say to change your mind?”

“I don’t know.” 

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“I don’t know!” Deb’s voice was almost shrill. 

“I didn’t come to have another screaming match.”

“I know, but I still thought you’d fight me on this. Even just a little.”

“What is there to fight about? If you think you’re done with me, then we’re done.”

“It’s that easy for you?”

“I can’t wait around forever.”

“I would wait for you.”

“Well that would require me to have replaced you with some pretty boy art dealer, but I haven’t done that, have I, Deb? Turns out that’s not so easy for me, okay?”

“I thought you said you didn’t come for another screaming match.”

Lou took a breath to collect herself. She tried to match the stillness that her words had evidently snapped Deb into. She could feel her traitor chest heaving. She breathed again, taking in the faint scent of marker ink and senior citizens and pine trees. 

Lou broke the long silence. 

“Stop provoking me. If you came here to say goodbye, then say goodbye and leave.”

“Alright. Goodbye.” 

With that, she turned and got back in her car. Lou set her brow with determination to glare at her as she backed out of the parking lot and until she drove away into a dot in the distance. 

That was when Lou let herself collapse. She put her head in her hands and crouched down onto the pavement and sobbed. She waited until she heard the round of bingo being finished and then she stopped. She picked herself up, got onto her motorcycle and drove back home. She didn’t speak to anyone in days, or get out of bed. She no longer felt like herself and she hated it.

When she heard Deb had been arrested, something snapped. Rather, Lou snapped out of her funk. There was part of her that ached to reach out, to write, to visit. She killed that part swiftly and began once more to work. 

Instead of letting it consume her, Lou nursed her hurt in silence… for five years, eight months, and twelve days. 

It was quiet now, after the heist. It almost felt like old times.

Lou knew how desperately Deb wanted it to feel like old times, and how intricately she had set everything up to match the feeling of those old days. 

Despite the fact that she had played along, and despite the fact that she had given it everything she had, throughout it all Lou held back. She wasn’t 100% there, and it was for good reason. 

Lou had taken it hard when Deb broke her heart the first time and she wasn’t going to let it happen again. No matter what. So she was busy guarding her feelings. She was here and she wasn’t. There was a constant distracted feeling in her head, and her hands itched from being in one place too long.

“Hey,” Deb said softly, smiling in a way that made Lou’s heart pound against its barricades.

They were alone now in her apartment, the rest of the girls having slowly trickled out, trickled back in to their normal lives like the eight of them had not accomplished something completely and utterly insane. Deb was happier than Lou remembered ever seeing her. It sparked a dangerous feeling in her chest that she tried to repress, her nails digging into the palms of her hands with the effort. 

“Hi.” Lou regarded her with caution. 

“So. We really did that.”

“We did.” 

“No one’s in jail.”

“You pulled it off.” 

“ _We_ pulled it off. Us. Together again.” 

A spike of anxiety ran through Lou’s chest. At the same time, it almost ached to see Deb smiling like that. Lou smiled back, just a little. 

“We did a fine job.”

Deb paused and seemed to consider Lou. She walked right up to her, a little too close. Lou stood her ground, and breathed in the scent of Deb’s stolen perfume, it was faint after a long day, and she mostly just smelled like Deb, and a little bit of Lou’s apartment. She got lost in it a little, because it was an intoxicating thought, being unable to separate Deb from her home. 

“Isn’t it nice working together again, partner?” 

Lou paused to consider. When she opened her mouth, something terrifyingly honest fell out. 

“It’s nice not being alone.” 

“Oh, Lou, I’m sorry.”

Lou started a bit when she felt Deb’s arms wrap around her. Her body acted on its own and wrapped her arms back around Deb, and as their bodies pressed together, they seemed to fit perfectly in each other’s arms. 

Lou felt herself beginning to sweat. She chuckled a little nervously. 

“I mean it’s nice not working alone. That sounded much more pathetic than I meant.”

“It’s not pathetic, Lou. You’re not, I mean… It’s us against the world, right? Or, it was supposed to be, and I fucked up and I’m sorry, and I wasn’t supposed to leave you alone. You know, you…” 

The words seemed to die in Deb’s throat, she had rambled all of this into Lou’s shoulder as they were still locked in their embrace. She felt her heart racing as Deb buried her face in Lou’s neck, snuggling impossibly close. Lou could feel her knees start to wobble.

Lou began to extract herself from Deb’s embrace, but Deb only held her tighter. She prompted her gently. 

“Deb.”

“No, Lou you have every right to be mad at me, I just—”

“Alright Deb, just let go of me!”

Deb released her grip slowly. She took a small step back but they were still only inches apart. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You can stop apologizing a million times.”

“I can’t though. I ruined everything.”

Lou scoffed. Deb looked wounded, and when Lou saw she sighed.

“You didn’t ruin everything. You broke my heart, is all. It happens.” 

“I hate the fact that I ever hurt you.”

“We were young. It’s… okay.”

“Really?”

Lou stopped to consider that. Every second she spent with Deb loosened the Gordian knot around her heart, little by little. Every apology she made and the obvious regret in her voice made Lou feel warm and by some trickery made her want to comfort Deb in turn, even though she was the one who was hurt. 

She took a deep breath and began to speak, a little uneasily at first.

“I’ve obviously had a while to think about it and everything that happened and I can’t bullshit you about it, it was fucking shit. It was shit for a long time. My hurt isn’t gone. But I think… I think working this job if anything has proven we can at least work together again.”

“But we can’t be friends.”

“We’re always friends.” 

“But we can’t be more than friends?” 

“Deb.” 

Deb looked up at her, straight into her eyes, pleading a little bit. And Lou felt herself give in for a moment. Her traitorous eyes fell to glance at Deb’s lips, as just at that moment her pink little tongue darted out to swipe across them, wetting them. 

Without warning, Deb stepped forward and pressed her lips against her’s and Lou gasped, her every vein feeling like it was flooded with warmth, her blood buzzing, her body electric. She gave in to the kiss, sinking slightly into Deb’s arms.

She blindly grasped at Deb’s shoulders, just to keep herself on her feet. She depend the kiss, moving her tongue in tandem with Deb’s. Deb let out a small moan which only drove Lou even crazier. She pressed herself harder against Deb’s body, deepening the kiss even more. 

Then, Deb broke away, a good thing too, they were both desperate for air. As they caught their breath, Deb stood holding onto either side of Lou’s face, she looked into her eyes. There was an incredible grin on Deb’s face. 

Lou just felt her mouth hang slightly agape as she processed what had just happened. She was hot, her cheeks felt fiery and were most definitely tinged pink. But at the same time a chilling sensation creeped into her chest. It was a the cold hard reality of what she had just done. 

“Oh shit,” she muttered. 

Deb grinned at that. But Lou couldn’t make herself smile. She suddenly felt suffocated standing so near to her and so she pulled Deb’s hands away from her face and moved to the other side of the room. She kept a wide berth, pacing, looking like a maniac.

“What’s wrong?”

Deb’s voice was small. Lou had no idea what to say. 

“We shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why not? That was amazing.”

“I’m not saying it didn’t feel good, I’m saying I don’t want to repeat old mistakes.”

“What mistakes? This wasn’t a mistake.” 

“What mistakes, Deb? Are you kidding me right now?” 

“I didn’t realize I was a mistake.”

“Well neither did I until you left me to cry my eyes out in fucking parking lot in New Jersey!”

The air in the room seemed to still. 

“Lou,” Deb began, taking a deep breath. “I don’t have any excuses.” 

Lou could think of nothing to say back, she just stared at Deb blankly. Her chest felt tight, and it was as if there were claws scratching at her throat. She felt beads of sweat form on her forehead. She had never felt this uncomfortable. She scrambled to think, anything to break the awful, heavy silence. 

“I’m going away.” 

“What?” 

Deb’s voice was small. Her eyes were shining with tears. 

“I’m taking my motorcycle and driving.”

“Where are you going?” 

“I don’t know, I’ll find it.” 

“How long will you be gone?” 

Lou sighed. “I need time, Deb.” 

“I gave you six years! You didn’t even visit me, not once.” 

This made Lou angry.

“Do you even listen to yourself speak, Debbie?” She snapped, without meaning to. Even seeing the surprised, hurt expression on Deb’s face couldn’t make her stop. “When I saw you for the last time before you went to jail, you asked me to stay out of your fucking life, so I apologize sincerely for having listened to you!”

“Are you asking me to stay out of your life?” 

Lou paused again. She felt all the memories of her heartache cascading through her ribcage like an avalanche. 

“No. I’m not asking you that.” 

Deb palpably relaxed, the tenseness in her shoulders deflating. 

“I’m just asking you to give me some time to think about this. In my own way.” 

“I understand.” 

Lou breathed, it felt like she had been holding her breath for ages. She looked over at Deb, her dark hair falling around her face, her arms crossed tight around her chest. She looked small. Lou felt that same weakness come back and cursed herself. 

She walked over to Deb, well past the boundary of personal space, and wrapped her arms around the other woman. She closed her eyes but felt Deb’s arms snake around behind her to reciprocate the hug. They breathed together. Nothing happened after that. 

The next morning, Lou left. She was gone for six weeks. She saw deserts and woods and small towns and basked in her anonymity and friendlessness. She thought and thought and thought. 

When she came back, she had made a decision. 

She rolled up to Deb’s newest address. A small but comfortable apartment nestled inside New York City. Parking her bike, she approached the door. 

Every knock sent a shiver of anxious energy down Lou’s spine. But she braced herself. She would be brave. 

Deb answered the door. Lou stared at her dumbly, but her eyes lit up with immediate recognition and joy.

“Hi,” she breathed, “I didn’t know you were back.” 

Lou cleared her throat. “I just got back.” 

She noticed Deb’s fingers flex with the impulse to hug her. But Lou beat her to the chase. She surged forwards and kissed her. Deb was caught off guard at first, but soon looped her arms around Lou’s neck and deepened the kiss, melting into it. Lou felt aflame once again, and she cursed herself for ever denying herself this pleasure. Deb pulled Lou into her apartment, pulling the door closed behind them, and then she pushed Lou into the wall and kissed her even more passionately. Lou’s lips were at Deb’s throat when the moment was interrupted. 

Amita stood there, her mouth ajar, and she screamed back behind her, “You guys were right, they _were_ hooking up this whole time!”

Lou pulled back and stared, unimpressed at a red-faced Deb. “You’re not alone?” 

Deb hid her face against Lou’s shoulder. “No,” she admitted, her voice muffled. 

“What are they doing here?”

Deb pulled back again to face Lou, smiling one of her most dangerous smiles. 

“Planning your welcome back party?”

Lou stared at her in disbelief, “Deb,” she deadpanned. 

“Alright, alright I’m sorry we—“ 

“You’re planning the next heist without your partner? Where’s your loyalty, woman?” 

With that Lou pushed Deb off and walked into the living room to greet the rest of the girls. Her smile was so wide it almost hurt her face, and Deb wore one to match. 

**Author's Note:**

> title is from south london forever by florence and the machine  
> apologies if the characterization isn't 100% there, i saw the film a w h i l e ago and sadly only once and just finished this fic recently lol.


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